By Jonathan Herron We are screwed up. We are. We lust.  We have sexual desires minus honor and holiness.  It's part of our sickness called sin.  Lust wants the forbidden.  In "Christianese" (words you only hear in a church like it's another language or something!) desiring the forbidden is called coveting--one of the ‘'Thou Shalt Not's.”  Lust grasps for things God says “No!” to.  It claws for the coveted with our eyes, hearts, imaginations, and bodies.  It’s not that God’s a cosmic kill-joy; it’s just He's preserving us for what is better.

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What's the source of lust?  If we're honest with ourselves, we'll see that lust comes from within.  It's a sin of the flesh (Oops, sorry about the Christianese again!).  Jesus of Nazareth taught 2,000 years ago that it comes from within our own heart (Matthew 15.19).  Yikes!  Looks like we can't just blame Maxim or Playboy.  We have to look inward, not outward.  But once we understand and recognize the source of our lusts as our own hearts, we can take responsibility and do something about it.

So, now it’s time for Q&A with Jonathon.  Here’s the question, “When I see a beautiful woman and appreciate her beauty, is that lust?”

Jonathon’s answer is, “Nope.  It's natural for a guy to appreciate the beauty of a woman.  God wired you that way!  But when your imagination begins undressing her in your mind, that's indulging in sin (lust).”

Lust is wanting what God has said is off-limits.

Lust is wanting what God has said is off-limits.

Any honest conversation about lust naturally leads to pornography. When you think about it, porn is really a form of prostitution since it's about using a body as an object to indulge lust.

Mark Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church in Seattle, has often said that more money is spent today on the porn industry than professional baseball, basketball, and football combined.  Every study shows that both non-Christian men and women and Christian men and women equally struggle with this area.

The purpose of pornography is clearly lust--wanting that which God has said no to.  Lust for anyone but your husband or wife is wrong.  Trust me, I am all for you wanting your spouse!  Men, if you are craving a look at a naked lady, go through the hard work of courtship, marrying a woman, asking her to get naked with you, and then look at her!  

Pornography's greatest hurt is that it turns people into objects.  The soul is divorced from the body. Personhood is destroyed.  Men are trained to look at their future wife as an object. Women are trained to find intimate longings apart from marriage. This is a true human rights issue if ever there was one.

Additionally, one's thought life is darkened. Jesus was concerned about this in Matthew 5.27-28 and Mark 7.21-23.  It breaks God's heart when we trade the beauty and pleasure of intimacy within marriage for the broken lie of pornographic lust.

We have to feel the weight of this bad news before we can appreciate the good news of forgiveness, freedom, and grace through Jesus of Nazareth.  Check out www.XXXChurch.com or Josh Harris' stuff.

Now it's audience participation time!

Grab a Bible, open to the Old Testament, and look for a book called Ezekiel.

Ezekiel 16:25-27 At the head of every street you built your lofty place and made your beauty an abomination, offering yoursel to any passerby and multiplying your whoring. You also played the whore with the Egyptians, your lustful neighbors, multiplying your whoring, to provoke me to anger. Behold, therefore, I stretched out my hand against you and diminished your allotted portion and delivered you to the greed of your enemies, the daughters of the Philistines, who were ashamed of your lewd behavior.

Done?  Now go on...

Ezekiel 23:18-21 When she carried on her whoring so openly and flaunted her nakedness, I turned in disgust from her, as I had turned in disgust from her sister. Yet she increased her whoring, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the whore in the land of Egypt and lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose issue was like that of horses. Thus you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when the Egyptians handled your bosom and pressed your young breasts."

Wow! Powerful images, huh?  That's God calling His people out on the carpet!  The religious folks are screwing around and God basically says that the Christians are acting like prostitutes in a Mardi Gras parade.

Why does God use such raw, frank language with His people (the ones who are supposed to be lights in darkness)?  Because He wants us to feel the sickness of sexual sin without anesthesia.

If we're totally honest, the purpose of pornography is masturbation. Solo sex is pleasing one self outside of being with your marriage partner.

WHEN IT'S BIBLICALLY PROMOTED

Believe it or not, the ancient Scriptures actually promote the big “M” within marriage - look at the Song of Solomon.  It's God's handbook on healthy sex in the marriage bed!  One book that's been helpful to me is Intimacy Ignited, which dissects Song of Solomon (SOS) for husbands and wives.  In chapter 2 of SOS, we read this:

"As an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men..."

The new bride looks at her husband and says he's the apple tree in the forest.  In Hebrew literature, the apple represents a sexual stud.  Basically this girl is saying she wants her husband in the biblical sense!  And it doesn't stop there -

"...and his fruit was sweet to my taste."

She tastes his fruit.  In the original language, the Jewish reader immediately realizes that the new wife is giving her husband an oral caress.

the Jewish reader immediately realizes that the new wife is giving her husband an oral caress.

"His left hand is under my head, and his right hand embraces me!"

Why the exclamation mark?  Because the original word used for "embrace" here is "habaq," meaning to fondle and stimulate.  God promotes the big “M”' within the context of marriage for the pleasure of the husband and wife together in rare instances. (And I'll bet Amazon is going to see a sudden spike in Intimacy Ignited after this!)

OUTSIDE MARRIAGE, IT'S LUST

Any other setting for solo sex is really selfish sex.  It's indulging in lust and usually hand-in-hand with pornography.  We've already explored reasons why God sets up boundaries to stay away from lust/porn (and by association, masturbation outside rare instances within the marriage bed), but allow me to also share with the men four practical reasons not to masturbate:

 1)  It screws you up biologically.  After finishing solo a.k.a. selfish sex, the brain emits chemicals that create euphoria.  It's the Sesame Street principle.  Remember Cookie Monster?  What does he want?  More cookies!  When you masturbate, you train your brain to crave more and more cookies.  Your body starts creating more and more chemicals and fluids more rapidly and the desire never fades - it only intensifies.  You are screwing up your biological functions and, instead of "relieving" sexual tensions, actually making them more intense.

2)  Masturbation is a form of homosexuality - it is sex without a woman.

3)  Masturbation is a form of monosexuality; it is sex without a woman. God created sex to bring two fleshes together as one flesh through marriage (Genesis 2.)  The Hebrew word is "dode," meaning "mingling of souls."  Sex isn't just a physical act; it's an intimate sharing of souls.  Solo sex scars the soul and messes up your future (or current) marriage.  More info on this is available in the Catalyst mp3: mingling of souls.

4) The big “M’ creates lazy men. Instead of getting a quick fix; gentlemen, pull your pants up, get right with God, get a job, court an Christian girl, and get married.  Already married?  Go through the hard work of leading, loving, and romancing your wife! 

Seriously - I am tired of sick, weak, pathetic men who won't take responsibility.  Have sex... with your WIFE! Some of you are sitting there thinking, "I've never heard a pastor talk like that before."  Well, maybe you've never had a happy pastor!

GOD'S AGENDA OR YOUR AGENDA?

The bottom line is what's your sexual agenda - God's or your own?  Are you selfish or selfless?  God is not cosmic kill-joy intent on setting up rules to make sex miserable. God created sex for pleasurable purposes in marriage.  Every time a husband and wife make love, they are renewing their covenant with each other and with God!

Every time a husband and wife make love, they are renewing their covenant with each other and with God!

Guilt and shame are not part of the life God has called you to live. The good news is that forgiveness, freedom, and shalom are freely showered on us by a loving God.   Know that God forgives.  God restores.  God, not you, has the power to help you overcome lustful desires.  Some cold-turkey tools to help you on your journey include XXXChurch and Josh Harris' resources.  Also, Mark Driscoll has some powerfully good messages over at Mars Hill Church and my friend Perry Noble has an archived blog post on this same subject. 

When you approach the doorway to Catalyst on Sunday mornings, it's impossible to miss the large outdoor signs welcoming you in that read, "Love wins."  This simple message that sums up the person and works of Jesus of Nazareth is on the lips of Catalyst's volunteers, on t-shirts being worn by workers, and reinforced by the authentic, creative, and relevant messages presented.

Love wins.  What a freeing idea.  And it was conceived by a God who created us.  In the beginning of the Bible, we see a loving God who creates everything, and the climax of creation is humanity.  Relationships, not religious rules, are the motivation of God's heart.  A perfect Eden is the landscape, and sexual union within marriage is the norm.

The story we are in takes a tragic twist when humanity embraces sin instead of God's agenda.  Brokenness, sickness, darkness, and death are the results.  We are sinful creatures rebelling against our Creator.  Note that I said "we," not just "you." Yes, I am a pastor, but if I'm honest, I have to admit I'm broken.  Messy.  Things are not the way they should be.  I rebel against God.  I am responsible for my sinfulness. And I deserve to pay a penalty.

A just and holy God demands payment for our sinfulness - the penalty is death.  Yes, I'm a pastor.  Yes, I am messy and sinful.  Yes, I deserve eternal death.  And so do you.  That's the bad news.  Lust, porn, selfish sex - there's a penalty.

Here's the good news - God is also loving.  Sacrificially loving.  The penalty has to be paid, but He offers to swap spots with us. 

Jesus is God in human flesh.  He lived a perfect, sinless life two thousand years ago in the Middle East.  And His love for us is so extravagant, so overwhelming that He willingly sacrificed Himself to save us from ourselves.  Jesus died.  God died.  That act of selfless love-- the Creator dying for the creation--satisfied the penalty.

Here's the kicker - 3 days later, Jesus of Nazareth rose from the dead. The debt was paid, and He overcame death to usher in life.  Where does Jesus rise from the dead?  A garden tomb.  A second Eden.  Jesus is on a mission to restore, reclaim, redeem that which is broken.  The first Adam brought death and sin, the second Adam brings life and shalom.  Love wins.

So here's the deal--you are not created to live a life of guilt or shame or hurt over past sexual sin.  The point is not to make you feel bad about yourself; the point is to expose your brokenness.  To admit your failures.  To express your need for Someone to forgive you and lead you.

Have you ever been to a church and heard a preacher ask, "Is Jesus your Lord and Savior?"  I never understood those words.  "Lord and Savior."  It sounded so, I don't know, cutting-edge-1600's or something.

But after a careful and honest look at the ancient Scriptures, I've come to understand that what those preachers are asking is this: "Have you realized you are broken and need a Forgiver?  Isn't it time you stopped chasing your own screwed up agenda and instead embraced God's agenda - to let Jesus be your Leader?"

If that's you, then celebrate!  You've made a huge spiritual step forward in realizing not just how messed up you and I are, but also the need for Jesus to swap spots with us.  His perfect and righteous life for our broken and sinful life.  His shalom for our anti-shalom.  His agenda for our agenda.  His tender, restoring hand recycling our sex life back to the way He intended it to be.

 I love how in Romans chapter 8 it says that if anyone is a follower of Christ--a genuine, heart-driven follower of Jesus --that they are no longer under condemnation.  Guilt and shame for past mistakes are wiped away for eternity.  That's the promise of God through His forgiveness.  Love wins.

Ask God to forgive you.  Accept Jesus as your Leader.  Open your eyes to a fresh new life.  You cannot change the past; you can only create the future.  And Jesus will lead the way.